


Rudyard and the Great Outdoors

by Plant_Mom



Category: Wooden Overcoats (Podcast)
Genre: Eventual Romance, Getting to Know Each Other, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-08-10 06:09:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20130610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plant_Mom/pseuds/Plant_Mom
Summary: Rudyard Funn was not going to let the Piffling Wood get the best of him! He was determined to master the great outdoors once and for all. He might need a little help along the way. Eric Chapman is happy to help.(Just your average cutesy outdoor scenes featuring your favorites. Eventually, there will be romance.)





	1. Into The Wood We Go

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! 
> 
> Please enjoy as these two characters bond over the great outdoors. Eventually, there will be smooches. I will try to update when I can. 
> 
> Thanks!

Rudyard Funn could be described as ambitious, in the correct light. The correct light, however, was not under the dense canopy of the Piffling Wood. The light down here was shady at best. Especially shady if one happened to have given up on ever leaving the woods and was lying face down in the dirt waiting for death to come. This is the position that Rudyard found himself in on an otherwise sunny summer morning.

“Arghh…” Rudyard groaned into the dirt as he thought about the actions that had led him here. He rolled over on his back, staring at the canopy above. 

“I’ll be fine Antigone! No, I don’t need any help, Georgie! I will conquer the woods this time for sure….” Rudyard repeated the arguments he had made to the only two people that cared if he lived or died. He felt like an idiot. How could he have forgotten how dense the Piffling Wood was?

“You’d think that after all the trouble with the scouts I would have been more prepared,” he said to no one in particular, “but maybe this is how it was always meant to be. This is how I go. Alone in this stupid wood. No one to find the body so they can get in the coffin, in the ground, on time. I didn't even bring anything to write my last wishes on.”

“Arghhh….” he groaned again, feeling more exasperated than before.

Rudyard had packed almost nothing for this expedition. He had worn athletic clothes for the occasion. He had put on loose gym pants, a t-shirt and a pair of old beaten up trainers from his high school gym class days. He hadn't brought much else, save for a bottle of water which was half empty now.

His plan had been to set out at first light and walk through all of the wood by lunch. After being lost in the woods with the scouts he decided that it would be the last time these woods made a fool of Rudyard Funn. He was going to master this small, but extremely dense, patch of wood.

But now it was past noon, or at least it felt like it. And he was nowhere near the end of the wood. In fact, Rudyard wasn’t sure of where he was at all. All the trees looked the same and he had a sneaking suspicion that he may have been going in circles. A suspicion that was confirmed after he nearly fell into the same oddly shaped patch of quicksand twice.

Birds flew overhead, heard but not seen. If he was honest there were worse ways to go than being lost in the wood. Maybe Antigone and Georgie would come look for him by nightfall. The thought brightened Rudyard’s gloomy mood. He just needed to wait until sundown. Surely by then, someone would come looking for him.

“Surely someone will come to look for me,” Rudyard mused to the birds above. “What am I saying.” He mused morosely. “No one would look for a Funn.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that!” A bright cheery voice broke through Rudyard’s outdoor pity party. A voice that under all other circumstances would have been irritating to Rudyard, but now it was very much welcome.

“Chapman???!,” Rudyard startled, “What the bloody hell are you doing here?”

Chapman grinned slyly, “I heard a rather sad voice contemplating their lonely death in here so I thought I’d come to investigate.”

“Ah, s-so you heard all that did you?” Rudyard blushed at the thought of Chapman listening in on a rather private conversation. “Does privacy mean nothing to you Chapman? Can't a man have some alone time in the woods anymore??”

It was at this moment that Chapman took a proper look at Rudyard. The Funn twins usually dressed rather conservatively so it was shocking to see Rudyard dressed for the outdoors. Chapman had only ever seen Rudyard in an ill-fitting suit and on one memorable occasion, business shorts.

Rudyard lay sprawled on the ground. A pair of loose sweatpants low on his hips. A sliver of his torso could be seen between the hem of the pants and the t-shirt he wore. A t-shirt which exposed the ivory skin of his arms. His face was flushed, probably due to the physical exertion of hiking through such a thick wood.

Chapman caught Rudyard’s eyes and realized he had been staring at the man. Had he asked him something? Christ, had he been talking to him? Chapman tried to regain his composure. 

“Sorry, uh, I was just umm.. passing by. On a walk. Here. At the owl sanctuary!” Chapman stumbled through trying to change the subject without raising Rudyard’s suspicion. Fortunately, Rudyard was too caught up in his own embarrassment to notice. “We are only a few feet away from the owl sanctuary. Look, I think the children are just arriving for a trip to see the owls.”

Sure enough, after walking through the thick woods for a few feet the tall barn of the owl sanctuary came into view. There was also a small bus in the parking lot, no doubt full of children eager to see the new baby owls.

“Oh.” Rudyard softly exclaimed. He turned away from Chapman quickly. He didn't want to give the man the satisfaction of seeing him blush all the way to the tip of his ears. He could not believe he had been so close to the edge of the wood this whole time. Rudyard felt embarrassment heat his face. He had to get away.

“Ah, y-yes... of co-course. Well, I will be in my way I think. Chapman!” Rudyard yelled as he scooted away towards Funn Funerals as quickly as his tired feet could carry him.

“Oh! Well, Enjoy yourself!” Chapman shouted at the quickly retreating form of one Rudyard Funn. He took a minute to admire the fine form he cut as he briskly walked away. He vaguely wondered if he should wander the wood more often.


	2. Camping: A How To Guide for Beginners

It had been a few days since Rudyard had emerged from the woods near the owl sanctuary. He had been keen to avoid Chapman since then. Even now, as he thought of the events that had unfolded there he felt an embarrassed flush creep into his face.

He would not be outdone by Chapman again! He was going to conquer the woods. He had to do this. And so, with this in mind, Rudyard began planning for a night in the woods.

He had decided that spending the night in the woods was the only way to overcome any lingering unease with the place. He would overcome his fear and do what his younger self could not. Rudyard decided to talk to an expert about this sort of thing. He was not going back unprepared. He had learned that lesson twice now.

Rudyard sat at the back of a Piffling Scouts meeting being held in an outdoor firepit behind the town square. He had brought Madeleine along for moral support as he hid near a tree taking notes. He had technically been kicked out of the scouts so he wasn’t sure if he was allowed here or not. Regardless, this information session would be extremely important to his success so he would take his chances hiding. Scout leader Calliope stood in front of the group as she taught the troop how to pack for an overnight stay in the outdoors.

“There are just a few essentials to ensure a safe night out on the island,” Calliope said. “Most important is, of course, your shelter. A simple rainproof sheet can be pitched up into a tent in a hurry. You also need some stakes to pin it down to the ground in case of a windy storm.”

Here she took out the aforementioned items and pitched up the tent slowly. Rudyard furiously scribbled instructions and drew up a diagram, determined to commit this to memory.

“Next you need your blanket. A regular wool one should do nicely for any weather. It can be rolled up and tied to your backpack.” Calliope showed the scouts how to roll up and tie the blanket snugly to a backpack. “The last few things are your survival fuel. Food and water are key, especially if your hike takes you longer than expected. Make sure to pack a liter or two of water. Dry foods like nuts, cereals, and dry meats are easy to carry and eat on the go.”

Here again, Calliope had examples of dried foods that she packed into side pockets of the backpack. Calliope finished up the lesson by saying that the rest of the space in the pack could be used for extra shoes or socks in case of bog run-ins. A multi-tool in case you needed scissors or a small screwdriver.

“But the absolute most important thing every scout needs is a tinder box! Without one of these, you can’t have roasted marshmallows!”

Calliope pulled out a worn tinder box and walked towards the firepit in the middle of the scouts’ outdoor classroom. She showed them how to safely start a fire. The lesson concluded with the marshmallow bag making its way around the scouts who took turns roasting them by the fire.

Rudyard finished up his notes and drawings. He felt quite confident now. He could survive one night in the woods. He just had to be prepared and have a plan. Not too different from a funeral really. Perhaps, not too similar though. He did want to return form his night in the woods alive. He was just about to slip away unnoticed when someone shouted his name.

“Mr. Funn!” Calliope made her way to through the scouts towards Rudyard. “What a surprise to see you here. What brings you to a scout meeting?”

“Hello, Calliope. I’m conquering my fear of the outdoors. I am going to spend a night in the woods.” Rudyard chatter nervously.

“Oh! Well if that’s the case you’ll need this.” Calliope reached behind her and pushed the backpack she had used in her demonstration into Rudyard’s hands.

“I-I... Thank you, Calliope. This is very kind of you.” Rudyard stuttered, taking the pack into his arms.

“Think of it as an investment in your new-found interest in the great outdoors. I think it’s great that you are overcoming your fear Mr. Funn. Every day is a good day to be a little less limited.”

Rudyard smiled softly at that. He remembered his night with the scouts fondly, even if it was frightening at the time.

“Just please be sure to steer clear of the scouts. Thanks!” Calliope shouted as she made her way back to the troop.

“Well, Madeleine looks like we are going on that expedition sooner than I thought. We have all the gear we need for a night in the woods. What? Oh, yes here you are. A nice dried strawberry for you.” Rudyard passed Madeleine a dried strawberry and turned to head home. Already he was thinking that tomorrow night would be a fine day for a night outdoors.

_______________________

Across town, Eric Chapman was wondering why Rudyard seemed to be avoiding him. Ever since he had stumbled upon the man near the owl sanctuary something was off. Rudyard hadn’t even tried to yell at him when they crossed the town square earlier this afternoon. He seemed in a hurry. He was clutching a small notebook, and when Eric had seen him last, Rudyard was hiding behind a tree for some reason.

“Well no use stewing in here,” Chapman said as he grabbed his coat and headed outside. “I think a nice walk would do me some good.”

As he stepped outside, Chapman took a moment to appreciate the crisp breeze blowing in from the sea. He was just about to head towards the beach for a walk when someone rammed straight into his back.

“Ooff! N-now, see here! The street is not for – Chapman! What on earth are you doing standing in the middle of the street? Rudyard had run straight into Chapman’s rather sturdy back and in the process, had fallen on his backside.

“Terribly sorry I—Rudyard? Chapman quickly turned and saw Rudyard struggling to get up from the ground. “Let me give you a hand Rudyard.”

Chapman reached down and offered Rudyard his hand. Rudyard grimaced but took Chapman’s hand to pull himself up. Chapman’s hand was soft and smooth. It intertwined nicely with Rudyard’s hand. Rudyard took a moment to briefly wonder how nice it would be to hold that hand on a stroll. He immediately let go of Chapman’s hand after realizing he was cataloging how well it fit in his hand. Rudyard had to put an end to this line of thinking. He was sure it would lead somewhere…vulnerable.

An awkward silence ensued as both men tried to think of something to say. Chapman noticed the pack on Rudyard’s shoulder.

Desperate for something to say he asked, “Rudyard, is that a scouting pack?”

“Umm- y-yes,” Rudyard stuttered. He hated that he was stuttering in front of Chapman again. He needed to get a grip. Rudyard took a deep breath before saying, “Calliope gave me this as a gift. I’m going to overcome my unease of the outdoors. She thought that having this pack would help me. I’m going to spend a night in the Piffling Wood.”

Rudyard immediately cursed himself. How could he reveal his plans to Chapman of all people? He wanted to sink down into the floor and disappear before Chapman made fun of him.

“Oh! That’s great Rudyard. Good on you. Planning on going with the scouts, are you?” Chapman said.

“Ah, no. I have been technically kicked out again, but this is more of a solo affair. Just man versus mother nature.” Rudyard replied warily. Chapman’s statement seemed to be devoid of sarcasm. He seemed genuinely excited for Rudyard.

“You can't go in there alone Rudyard! What if something happens to you? The buddy system is there for a reason you know.” Chapman furrowed his brows, looking quite concerned.

Ah, here it is. Rudyard thought. The other shoe drops.

“I told myself I could do this. And I will! You can't stop me, Chapman!” Rudyard yelled.

“I’m not trying to stop you, Rudyard,” Chapman said in an annoyingly calm tone of voice. I’m just saying that going with someone else would be the smart thing to do. The Piffling wood is small but incredibly dense.”

“And who, pray tell, would I take on this expedition? Antigone hates the outdoors. And Georgie wouldn't want to go and leave Antigone. I’m quite sure they are looking forward to having me out of the house for a night.” Rudyard fumed.

“I-I could go,” Chapman replied in a voice so soft that Rudyard thought he had imagined it. But then Chapman smiled and said “I could certainly go. I have been meaning to get out more. Chapman’s has been running me down lately what with the 5th-floor arcade we added last week. A nice trip outdoors could be just what the doctor ordered.”

Rudyard stood perfectly still. What was happening? Was Chapman inviting himself along on his outdoor adventure? This was bound to be a disaster. Rudyard certainly felt like he wouldn't survive an hour walking in the wood with Chapman, let alone a night. He was using a large amount of mental power just to keep himself from thinking about how nice it would be to hold hands on a walk with Chapman. He needed to shove this train of thought into a mental box labeled _Stuff Never To Think About Again. _But at the moment that seemed impossible.

“Chapman,” Rudyard spoke slowly, “I am not sure this is a good idea. I mean, it’s us. We don’t really get along. At all. We are rivals!”

“Rudyard,” Chapman’s voice was suddenly very earnest, “I never wanted to be your rival. I think I’d rather like the opportunity to get to know you. Think about it will you? If you don't want me to go with you I can accept that.” Chapman smiled, a wistful expression flashing on his handsome face. “But if you change your mind, let me know.”

With that, Eric Chapman walked away towards the sea, humming a soft tune. Rudyard stood in the middle of the street, staring at the slowly retreating form of Eric Chapman. Had he always had such broad shoulders? Rudyard felt a blush creep into his face as he wondered what it would be like to walk in the fading light, holding Chapman’s hand.

Madeleine’s gentle squeak brought Rudyard back to reality.

“Hmm? Oh, yes of course. Streets are not for standing in. Right, you are Madeleine.” Rudyard replied as he began moving towards Funn Funerals again.


	3. Decisions Decisions, Not All of Them Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rudyard comes to terms with not going at things alone.  
Eric Chapman pinning away

Eric Chapman walked slowly, whistling a tune to help him keep calm. He told himself he would not turn around to look at Rudyard. No matter how lovely he looked with a gentle blush spreading on his face.

Eric walked towards the sea and dared to hope that Rudyard had heard the earnest tone in his voice when he volunteered himself for the camping trip. In retrospect, it might be a tad bit rude to invite himself along. But Eric knew that spending a night alone in a dense wood was far from pleasant. A lesson he had learned a long time ago… 

His mood darkened at that, but he waved it away. Instead, he turned to more pleasant thoughts. What if Rudyard said yes? Eric let himself indulge in that fantasy as he walked along the sea in the fading light. There was a very small chance of that happening, but still, a man can dream, can’t he?

Eric walked on the sandy beach and smiled to himself. He thought about the split second he had held Rudyard’s hand as he helped the man back up. His hand still felt tingly were Rudyard’s hand had held it. Eric couldn’t help but think about how perfectly Rudyard’s large hands had fit in his. Eric sighed as he wondered if one day he and Rudyard would walk along this same beach together, holding hands.

_____________________________

Meanwhile, at Funn Funerals, Rudyard Funn was taking steps to avoid thinking about Chapman and anything related to the man. He would not let himself ponder too long on how Chapman’s stupid hand fit perfectly in his. Or how earnest the man had sounded when he volunteered to spend a night in the woods with Rudyard. It had to be some sort of mistake. He had heard wrong. This must be a plot to sabotage Funn Funerals.

He busied himself by checking the supplies in the pack. He practiced pitching the tent up a few times in his room. He wanted to be sure that he could do it. He was on just breaking down the tent for the fourth time when he heard a small squeak. It was Madeleine, she was holding a needle and some thread in her paws.

“What’s this Madeleine? Rudyard furrowed his brow as he looked at the needle and thread “Oh! Yes, what a brilliant idea. I’ll sow on my honorary woodland funeral badge to the pack! Thank you.”

Madeleine handed Rudyard the needle and thread. He busied himself with threading the needle and knotting the end. He found his badge, safely tucked away in a small dresser in the corner of the room. Rudyard sat down and began to sow the badge to the center of the outdoor pack. Rudyard smiled as he finished sowing. He was ready for the great outdoors.

As he lay in bed that night, Rudyard tried and failed to keep Chapman’s proposition out of mind. He sighed into the dark. He hated to admit it, but Chapman was right. Staying in the wood overnight alone was not a good idea. No matter how prepared he was, it was dangerous to go alone. Sleep evaded Rudyard as he tossed and turned. He should take Chapman up on his offer. It was the smart thing to do. He hated that he was agreeing with Chapman. He was so infuriating, especially when he was being logical. For once Rudyard couldn’t find it in himself to fight Chapman about his opinion.

_____________________________

“Ugghh!,” Rudyard groaned into his pillow, “It’s no use. I won’t be able to sleep until I talk to Chapman.”

Rudyard looked at the clock on his nightstand. It was a quarter to midnight. Was it crazy to go to Chapman’s right now? Rudyard put on his trainers and quietly tiptoed out the front door. He walked across the street to Chapman’s. He hesitated for a few seconds before he knocked insistently at the door.

Chapman was surprised to hear someone knocking so late. He was finding some comfort in a cup of cocoa and a book when he heard the noise. He checked his watch, it was ten to midnight. Who could be knocking so late? And so insistently?

“Just a moment!” Chapman shouted in the direction of the front door. He belted his robe and headed over to see his late-night visitor. 

Eric Chapman opened the door to see a disheveled Rudyard Funn standing in front of him.

“Rudyard!” Eric exclaimed, surprised to see him. “Hello. Care to come in?”

“Chapman, I-I... Rudyard stuttered, “Yes please.”

“Come on in. Make yourself at home. Would you like hot cocoa?” Eric asked as he closed the front door behind them.

“If it’s not too much trouble.”

“No trouble at all. I was just fixing myself a cup. Please sit, I’ll be right back.”

With that Eric disappeared in the direction of the kitchen. Rudyard gravitated towards a couch in the living room. It looked extremely inviting with its soft fabric and plush pillows. He sat awkwardly and waited for Chapman to return. He hadn’t meant to come inside. He was just going to inform Chapman that he was indeed in need of a second party to join him in spending the night in the woods. For safety reasons only! A man could easily loose his way in the woods. But now he was in Chapman’s living room. Waiting on said man to return.

“Get a grip, Rudyard,” he muttered to himself. “You can do this. Be straight forward. No nonsense—

“Here you are.” Chapman came into the living room with two steaming mugs. He handed one to Rudyard and sat beside him on the couch.

“Now then, what’s going on Rudyard? It’s not often that I get a midnight visitor.

“Well, I was just –umm.. thinking about what you said earlier.” Rudyard scowled down at the perfect cup of cocoa. “Loathe as I am to admit it, I do need a second person to come with me on my overnight trip to the woods.

Rudyard hazards a look up at Chapman as he took a sip from his mug. Chapman had his mug halfway to his mouth, and he looked frozen?

“Chapman…are you alright?” Rudyard asked as he put his cup down.

Chapman blinked several times, putting his cup down as well.

“I’m sorry Rudyard, I just…I…Could you repeat yourself?” Chapman said quietly.

Rudyard looked away from Chapman and felt his jaw tighten with shame. What did he think was going to happen? He was at in Chapman’s living room at midnight asking said man to spend a night with him in the woods. Christ! How could he have been so gullible? This had been a mistake. He could see that Chapman was confused. He probably didn't even remember their conversation earlier today. Rudyard wanted to sink into the ground. He quickly did away with that train of thought. Rudyard Funn was turning over a new leaf. He could face this! No running away now. He took a breath to willed himself to looked back at Chapman’s face.

“I need someone to accompany me into the wood.” Rudyard spoke as calmly as he could, “Would you care to come with me?”

For a moment there was silence. Rudyard held his breath and looked at Chapman. He watched as Chapman’s eyebrows rose and his blue eyes widened. Chapman held Rudyard’s stare, opening his mouth to speak. Just then, the grandfather clock down the hall struck midnight startling both men, causing them to break eye contact.

“Yes! Chapman yelped as the clock struck again. “I’d be happy to go with you, Rudyard. When are you thinking of going?”

“A-- umm... as soon as possible. Maybe tomorrow? I’d like to leave mid-morning. Give myse—ourselves, plenty of time to scout out a good spot and set up camp. Nothing fancy, just enough equipment for a night.”

“You know, Chapman said with a grin, “it is technically tomorrow.”

Rudyard laughed softly, not believing how well this was going. “That it is. Meet me at the cemetery at 11 o’clock?

“Top, I’ll be there.”

“I should go,” Rudyard said as he got up from the couch. “Big day tomorrow. It’s late, I should let you rest.”

“Wait, Rudyard” Chapman got up and reached out, circling a hand around Rudyard’s forearm. “Won't you finish your cocoa before you go?”

Rudyard stilled as he felt Chapman grab him. The feeling of Chapman’s soft, sturdy hand on him immediately called to mind the last time Chapman had grabbed him. Rudyard felt his face warm as he turned to look at Chapman, who was much closer than he had anticipated. He looked softer in the dim light of the living room. It was a different façade than the usual Chapman charm and smile. Rudyard had never seen Chapman look so, small. Soft, small and maybe…hopeful? He looked like he wanted Rudyard to stay. Or maybe Rudyard was just projecting. He did want to stay. Suddenly, he very much wanted to stay and talk to Chapman. It felt like that was possible at the moment. Just the two of them speaking softly in the dead of night.

“I-I suppose so. Shouldn't let it go to waste,” Rudyard said.

“No. We wouldn’t want that,” Chapman spoke slowly as he took a step towards Rudyard. “It would be such a shame.”

Rudyard felt himself being pulled towards Chapman. Maybe that was because he still hadn't let go of his arm. He was less than an arm’s length away from Chapman. He could see freckles on the bridge of his nose. They drew his eyes up and Rudyard found himself meeting Chapman’s gaze once more. Both men found themselves leaning in slowly, almost imperceivably towards the other.

“Chapman?” Rudyard whispered, a breath away from the other’s mouth.

“Rudyard,” Chapman whispered, “Call me Eric.”

“Eric.” Rudyard breathed out loud, barely audible, “What are we doing?”

“Won’t you sit with me?” Eric whispered as he pointed towards the couch, “I meant what I said earlier. I want to get to know you. Why not start now?”

“Okay.” Rudyard nodded and slowly sank back into the plush couch.

Eric and Rudyard talked about their upcoming trip. Eric had plenty of camping gear. From a long time ago? Rudyard asked. Eric laughed short and sudden. He assured Rudyard that the camping equipment was a recent investment actually.

Rudyard smiled at Eric. He found that strange because he was sure that he had found Eric’s laugh extremely irritating before. Now in the middle of the night over a cup of cocoa and whispered plans it felt different. Rudyard decided he would parse through his emotions later. For now, he would finish his cocoa and enjoy Eric’s company. 


End file.
